On the way, forget you

"it may be funny at once, but the second times, you just got a smile"

Mr. Edward? that's funny how I wonder where are you now, I'm searching around the Google but what I get is nothing. lolz
perhaps, you aren't a robot, a sponge or even a tentacle xD
when you were came to my life, I expect you to be my friend. sure!
I remember, our 1st year at Junior High School.
our class were close, often I hear about you, dear.
but... physically I'm not ready, so creepy me in the past, look like a little black beaver.
beaver? ya, you might imagine more how scary I am then.
day by day, more often I heard about you from my friends.
you were smart and fabulous, huh..
reverse from me, a beaver with hope. but not a hope for you, cos there's no feeling for you..

then, I passed my ridiculous 1st year..
in my 2nd year, I don't know is it an accident or not.
the distance between you and me is only covered by the upstairs, not too much, just 3 stairs xD so I could very closely to see you. but honestly, I still not into you. just admire someone, a funny classmate. I think I'd like to have a time with boys just to approve how funny you are.
then.. something happened to me, my beloved father.. he was passed away.
it stressed me out and make me so desperately down.
holly..! I got rank 9 in the last semester, so I got the chance to join the test of "The Superior Class" where the smartest of smartest gather. lol, that's the way how I met you.

then.. when the result time comes, I found my name on that list :D
I offered to another friends, do u want to take a seat with me.. lol, actually I've found.
day by day, we passed the day together in the same place, but why this heart seems to decided something? seems like something would happen.
I enjoyed till I know, you were the result of this decision.
heart beats so fast even I think of you.
ya, sounds great but actually did a sore. I don't care how the damage I face on.
then, you've asked something weird to me. something that would change my life.
something that give me the negative mind, something that make me feel like I am not myself, and something that works as the machine to hate my own self.
I don't know, I thought that you were hate me. as you treat me like your enemies.
your acts, being more valuable than the homework.
but something I've made is something I need to be accounted.
BULLYING, yah.. even it seems like that but I'm FEEL like that.
I'm feel like you are really hate me, so I did the same.
hate become love? noooo.. not love, just an admirer.
firstly, I've been crush on another one before I know that my heart choose you.
but.. "first you hurt me, forever you never see the old me"
I miss the opportunity how I stare on him, lol
back to the story, I'm fallin' love
with YOU!!!

at the end, what I call ever after is when...
when I see you standing with someone else and hold her hand so tight,
then, I'm siting alone on a bench with the old-book and an ice cream.

what a pity I thought, but I think that's a fact.
you don't need to sacrificing 'cause of the strange girl like me.
I know someday, we could meet again with another feeling.
I'm trying.. I'm trying.. I'm trying.. Edward :)



*ps: foto diatas cuma ilustrasi semata, masa iya naksir adenya Nat Wolff xD